i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
