A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
operation have a gay friend backfired
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
