I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
