Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
