You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
