you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
