I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Mom said you looked used
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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