you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
