And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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