Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I heard we made out
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
