I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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