I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
