sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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