YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
