just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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