his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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