but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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