From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
