Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
