i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
