Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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