Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
