Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The uberlube is also flammable
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
