I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
