My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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