My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
