I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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