so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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