At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize