Christians are straight up FREAKS
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Even my vagina gasped.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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