About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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