This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize