I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
