ADVERTISEMENT

• (712): View more from Iowa

  Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

  Fav 10 1891 852

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid

  Fav 54 2341 1663

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (903): View more from Texas

  her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.

  Fav 132 1043 8853

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

  Fav 27 1646 4465

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.

  Fav 32 3110 5030

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions

  Fav 6 2661 1131

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.

  Fav 12 2300 1043

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"

  Fav 3 1283 933

  share tweet
  

• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.

  Fav 5 1452 518

  share tweet
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.

  Fav 3 831 522

  share tweet
  

• (+35): View more from

  Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?

  Fav 1 450 537

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits

  Fav 5 607 912

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.

  Fav 0 356 524

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think

  Fav 1 624 394

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.

  Fav 0 24 44

  share tweet
  

Randomize