I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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