Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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