If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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