We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
