M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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