remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
