Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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