I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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