I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
