I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
