Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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