I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she smelled like a LAN party
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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