Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
