I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
now i know why i became what i already was.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
