Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
