Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
