nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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