Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
