Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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