was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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