it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
