ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
