I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
