ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
