wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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