how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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