She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
