even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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