Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
