Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
