i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
